Dear Taylor Momsen,
As much as I love you, I do wish you’d dress for the weather a little better. I don’t know about where you live, but Manchester’s kinda cold right now. Like FUCKING cold. Which I’m sure you noticed during your brief visit recently. But there you were, bra popping open and a barely there dress; and it just isn’t acceptable is it Taylor? Yes you could argue you’re wearing a coat, but what good is this when your vaginal flaps are practically dangling out for the world to see? No good at all Taylor. What’s worse is I fear any further exposure to the treacherous conditions currently captivating a high percentage of the country in your prostitute like attire will ultimately result in you catching hypothermia. And taking the selection of diseases your outfit suggests you already have into consideration, I don’t think this would be very good either Taylor. In fact, I think it could kill you Taylor. And then if you’re dead who’s going to tour the world with their live sex show? Nobody, that’s who Taylor. Obviously by live sex show I mean one of the most borderline paedophilic things classified under “live music” I have ever witnessed; but this doesn’t lesson my point any Taylor. You’re not just an icon to hookers globally, you’re the sigh of relief each parent takes when they know it’s time for “the talk”. Nobody wants to chat to their children about safe sex and STDs – and thankfully they don’t have to when the tabloids have your face and quotes plastered across them. You’re living proof Taylor. If anything’s going to make kids rubber up, its paparazzi shots of you stumbling looking all nasty and riddled. But if you’re dead, then this will no longer happen will It Taylor? They’ll be nobody to educate the children. Teenage pregnancies will soar, diseases will riot; but worst of all Taylor, lives will be ruined. So for the sake of the world, please put your bits away and dress a little more responsibly Taylor.
Other than that, it was lovely meeting you again Taylor.
Kind Regards,
Joshua Fox
PS: I have a book out which discusses many other celebrity encounters like this which you can check out here
