“FANS” THE MOVIE

For a 13 minute insight into celebrity obsession, celebrity stalking and my life; check out my autobiographical mini-documentary “FANS” which I’ve been shooting throughout the McFly tour and other stuff!

PS: It’s embedded as HD here so if it’s taking too long to buffer just click through to YouTube and change the quality down.

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I am sad. After 6 wonderful weeks full of nothing but my favourite band, favourite people and favourite pass times (drinking and stalking), it is back to reality. And I’m already depressed. Mass suicide anybody?! Literally throughout these past 6 weeks everything has revolved around tour. EVERYTHING. In the rare days when we weren’t away in hotels, at shows, stalking from city to city or partying until the sun came up; we were then all passed out recovering before picking that suitcase back up and heading out to another city! And although I’m now sat here drowning in piles of unwashed clothes and the pressure of impending university deadlines whilst substantially poorer. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’ve traveled over 1,000 miles and visited more cities than I can remember. There’s been unprovoked assaults, police statements, excessive stalking, countless #PICCYWITH, binge drinking, hotel parties, tour bus follows, Boris bike follows, shopping centre follows, crawling through bushes, more threatened police interaction, donkey rides through night clubs, after parties, Travelodge karaoke sessions, cross country taxis, less than recommendable sleeping conditions, kissy pics with Danny Jones mum and vomiting in front of Miss England amongst much much more.

As Dunn brought up the other days, remember the days where you’d go to a concert as the doors open, watch the band and then be in bed before midnight. How fuuuucking boring was that! Unless the show involves hours of stalking before, a bottle of vodka, trashing of a hotel, massive pre-gig party, drunken singing, a follow of the tour bus after and then an extra day or so of meeting the band, it hardly seems worth it.

My little documentary which I’ve filmed throughout this will also be online Tuesday.

PS: As I’ve said countless times before, you don’t have to be in a band to go on tour …just latch yourself onto your fave one and follow them everywhere. It’s a lot more exciting.

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People always ask do I get bored going to see the same bands over and over, and as always, the answer is no. Because each weekend is entirely different and completely hilarious. Like this one has been in London.

Contains; drunken celebrity bicycle follows, Ashley Neil Horne from The Midnight Beast in a toilet, McFly at Hammersmith Apollo, the McFly after-party, Harry Judds rave dance moves, an hilarious way to pass time in a train station, causing a scene at Buckingham Palace, vomiting in front of Miss England (Danny McFlys girlfriend) and my thoughts on Easter.

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THE 9 STEPS TO BEING BANNED FROM YOUR FAVOURITE BAND (TOUR PT.1)

Out of the past 14 days, 7 of them have been dedicated entirely to McFly. I’ve met them in Manchester, seen them in Sheffield, met them again in Manchester, seen them at the Apollo, met them again in Manchester, seen them in Nottingham, seen them in Leeds …and met them again in Manchester. And now I’m here. We’ve traveled, partied, all come together from round the country; and never did I ever think I’d have the words “YOU’RE NEVER SEEING THE BOYS AGAIN” hurled in my direction. But I did, by their new touring security guard Chris who I don’t think had quite understood the extremes our passion towards this band would take us before taking on the job as the bands security

Thankfully Mr Harry Judd amended the situation and welcomed me back into the fandom from the dreaded blacklist, but they were certainly some dark times. I imagine you’re somewhat confused, so I’ll start from the beginning. Friday seen us heading into Nottingham for day 5 of the tour for us, sadly we missed out on tickets …but who needs an actual ticket to the show when you can listen from the street? Whilst dancing, singing, and having an all-round good time in the small gap between venue door and tour bus listening as intently as possible, an opportunity presented itself. The door happened to be open. I didn’t quite know where it would lead, but I obviously walked through it. Like the wise men following the light all those years ago, I happily skipped on through with the muffled drones of my favourite band leading the way. I was drunk, I was excited, adrenaline had captivated my body and I probably shouldn’t have done it. BUT I DID! Each step through the darkness made the music a little clearer and then all of a sudden one step around a small corner and I was there. I hadn’t just snuck into the show I’d travelled 3 hours to stand outside of; I’d somehow ended up on the side of the bloody stage! This was never my intention; I simply wanted to see my favourite band. Concealed behind a curtain pole and some technical looking stuff, I was having the time of my life. Well I was, for the chorus of “Lies” I managed to stay there for before we were all chucked back outside. Not just that, but we were then told we were never to see the band again!

I’m not sure whether this comment came from the outrage of the intrusion or the initial shock of the security breach; but I suppose it was justifiable. Thankfully Harry assuring him the next day we’re no threat to the band and he’s not to worry as he’s been seeing us for years and a hand shake and apology with said security chap cleared the situation up, but how crazy! I probably shouldn’t have done it, but you just would wouldn’t you? The alcohol told me to go for it, and the music led me through the dark. I didn’t want to end up on stage; I just wanted to see the bloody show I missed out buying tickets for because I had 6 other cities to buy for first on the day of release! It’s not like we were scaling the walls or climbing through windows or anything, an opportunity presented itself, AND I TOOK IT! Yes I regret it, but quite surprising how easily I managed to skip on over to such a prime spot for the show. And there you have it, the 9 steps to being banned from seeing your favourite band. And also reason 28728728927892 why Harry Judd is awesome.

Other than that these 7 days have been slightly amazing, slightly dramatic, and slightly tiring. I’d discuss all these other events a little more in depth, but they’ve all been filmed in HD for your viewing pleasure and will soon complete the documentary I’ve previously mentioned which I begin editing tomorrow titled “Fans”.

PS: Sorry once again Chris. I’m glad you now see we’re not crazy, just dedicated. I do understand how this could be misunderstood though. Welcome to the McFly fandom.

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Originally Posted By joshuafoxand

You don’t need to be in a band to go on tour ….just latch yourself onto your favourite one and follow them from city to city!

Okay I’m a little excited as a type this. It’s the same excitement I feel each and every year without fail, and it’s honestly the best kind of excitement I ever do feel. IT’S TOUR TIME! Yes, that time of year where we pop from city to city, watching the same show and same songs over and over, and feel a sense of freedom which only comes following these brief trips out each year. Carefree, drunk and fuelled on adrenaline; real life takes a back seat, we’re in our bubble and completely free. It’s cheesy, it sounds stupid; but McFly aren’t just a band, there the medium for people all around the country to live this whole other life which nobody really understands unless you’re a part of it. “Don’t you get bored seeing them?” people understandably ask. No, how can seeing your favourite band, meeting new people, travelling the country with your best friends and partying in different cities each week get boring?

After unexpectedly meeting the band yesterday ….and convincing a middle aged man to pretend to be our dad to bring them out to us, and then following them on foot around the city through hoards of football hooligans through department stores just for another picture with… tour officially starts for me today as I head Sheffield with nothing but good friends, a bottle of vodka and a front row ticket! Then it’s the Manchester show tomorrow, then the Manchester afterparty, then Nottingham a few days afterwards, then Leeds, then Preston, then London, then Manchester again. And chuck in a few fan meetings with them and afterparty DJ sets in there too. And then it’s over. 753 miles, 4 consecutive weeks and a whole load of new amazing memories.

Rather than regularly spamming you with lengthy posts like usual of the hilarity which follows each show, I am filming EVERYTHING for a McFly centred documentary on fandom which will you give you an insight into this life of an “obsessive fan” which will be online the start of May. Following up from my recently published book and also titled “Some Call It Stalking, I Call It Love”, not only will the piece document the extremes we go to, but will hopefully challenge how you perceive the word fan and what entirely being a fan entails. The idea initially started as a bit of a fun, but since turned into my FMP at University, and will also be exhibited in a Manchester gallery for a week throughout June!

To summarize; I’m excited.

(Source: joshuafoxand)

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Greggs Dead, Scouse Stalking & How Not To Pick Up Women.

Guess who quit their job and is once again unemployed and spending their days watching Loose Women? ME! Which of course means I’m back to posting lengthy tales like this about all the fun stalking adventures I’m having, you know, instead of actually contributing something to society. Also not to brag but I just thought I’d throw this in (I’m totally bragging), my autobiography has now sold in 17 different countries. Arguably I could now class this as my “profession”, but I don’t even think ASDA would employ me with “Once wrote 70,000 words on how to annoy Miley Cyrus” on my C.V. Also does anybody else find it absolutely ridiculous that I have an autobiography out? I truly do.

This weekend I went up to Liverpool to catch up with the Strictly Come Dancing tour. I’ve never watched the show in my life, I hate dancing; but Harry from McFly was there and I love McFly, so this was enough for me to brave the land of the scouse. We usually have no trouble locating hotels of the famous, but for once in our lives we were failing. It was only then as the Vodka came out, 10 hours had passed and an unfortunate paparazzi shot of someone from Waterloo Road hit the Daily Mail Online that we struck luck after comparing the brief bit of wall you see behind her in the shot to every hotels online gallery.

Now confident with the hotel, dressed up and vodka down our pants we went to the bar they’d be having the after party at. As lovely and lavish as 5 star hotels are, in no way can £8 be justified for a Vodka and Coke so taking your own booze with you is a clear necessity. Beyond intoxicated by the time the “stars” had even arrived back, literally all pouncing on Harry as he tried to run past to his room to watch Match Of The Day was somewhat hilarious. Thankfully he came back a while later to say hi and brought up the last time he seen us …surrounded by security backstage at the shows live final last month. For some reason he expected nothing less from us and found it as hilarious as we did. With Jade then falling down the stairs and empty bottles of Tesco Vodka cluttering the hotel toilets, our cover as non-residents was soon blown; so we split up and Elz and I went and invited ourselves to the Strictly Judges table. Unsure who was famous, who was a nobody, and why exactly we’d just sat amongst this group of strangers; turning to the man sat next to me and screaming “OMG YOUR LOUIS WALSH” in his face was all kinds of hilarious. As his friends then stopped all other conversation and looked at us in utter confusion, the man was quick to play the “do you not know who I am card?” But I didn’t know he was, I’ve never watched Strictly in my life! Conversation then went a little like this for several minutes; “Sorry for inviting ourselves over, but we just love you Louis” “I’m not Louis” “No, your Louis Walsh” “No I’m Craig Revel Horwood” “Loved you on X Factor” “I’m from Strictly” “Are Tulisa and Kelly back next year?” “I’m not Louis” “Say potato” “I’m not Louis” “SAY POTATO LOUIS”. As much as he pretended to hate us, the hand he then placed on my lap suggested he enjoyed the banter. I can’t say I enjoyed the hand though and then started heckling Jason Donovan and Robbie Savage instead before our inevitable security removal.

Meeting Harry again a couple of hours later then made things get a little emotional as he referred to me as “McFly’s biggest male fan that isn’t weird”. Overwhelmed, the only response I could then conjure up after this was “WELL I HAVEN’T BEEN TO YOUR HOUSE IN ALMOST A YEAR” and I’m fairly sure the “isn’t weird” comment was then lost as he went back to his friends as I started shouting his address at him. Either way, it still made me smile.

The following day then consisted of a 14 hour drinking session on the streets with Stephen, once again following Craig around shouting “LOUIS WALSH” and once again meeting Harry. Back in Manchester then and back to real life; I of course didn’t have a job to go to the next morning so I went out and met J.D from Scrubs instead. Zach Braff is a lovely man. So lovely in fact I then went and met him 20 minutes later. And then a few hours after that. In all honesty I’m not even sure as to why I met him in the first place, I don’t even like Scrubs.

With no more celebrities around to fill the rest of my day up, I decided to simply harass the general public instead. Did you know Greg as in Greggs bakery is dead? Well I didn’t until I demanded the sales assistant brings him down to serve me my sausage roll personally whilst grabbing some food there. I also learnt the entire history of the store from how Greg died to his nephew Ian in Newcastle who’s now running the business. Fascinating, I know. Next I decided to showcase my pulling technique to Alan whilst birthday shopping for his girlfriend in Cath Kidston. Having a friend that’s avidly spent thousands buying every single piece of Cath shit she’s printed that same floral print on, I’ve somehow managed to learn the entire history of Cath simply through hanging around with her. Something I have since learnt does not impress girls. Whilst aimlessly roaming round the store, casually walking up to fellow shoppers and asking “DID YOU KNOW CATHS MUM AND DAD DIED OF CANCER?” certainly wasn’t how I expected to start conversation with these absolute strangers; but sadly this was all that came out. And even then when the comment was met with deadly silence bursting into a state of nervous laughter following a cancer comment once again didn’t go down well. Neither did asking the sales assistant if Caths considered bringing out a floral print femidom and throwing her a cheeky wink afterwards.

Other than that 2012 has been slightly uneventful. Happy New Year people that actually read this far down. And to the people that gave up half way through, I hope you have a shit year.

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My Birthday In A Brothel

To say i’ve had an eventful teenage life would be pretty spot on if we’re being honest. Often beyond my control and completely unrealistic; stuff tends to just happen when it comes to me. I’ve been detained and escorted out of the city I call home after being suspected as a possible terrorist threat to the prime minister. I’ve been chased through the streets of London by hoards of police officers just for trying to blag my way into a Hannah Montana concert. I’ve accidentally been accused of “disrespecting the memory of the Queen mother” and threatened with arrest by more London police officers. I’ve been spat on and chased by one of this country’s highest profile footballers simply for trying to do my job. I’ve had my love for a famous celebrity misunderstood and been branded a psycho in the British press. The list is endless. So obviously with me turning 20 in a couple of days and bidding farewell to my teenage years, spending the last few days doing as much mad shit as possible seemed the right thing to do!

The fun started last weekend at ASDA whilst in the middle of me weekly shop when I got a call from a buddy telling me McFly just walked into the cinema he’s in. Obviously the shopping got dumped, my phone went into overdrive and 90 minutes later there’s a group of us, we’re drunk & we’ve just met our favourite band again for the 2837 millionth time. Clearly not satisfied with this random opportunistic meeting, we then headed to the bar we suspected they’d be heading to later on and had some drinks, met them again …and In Jades case, stole the soft furnishings whilst the waiter wasn’t looking. Now with the knowledge my favourite band were in my town, the next day was spent drinking in Jades hotel room. And as the alcohol kept flowing, our behaviour got somewhat reckless and before we knew it we’d completely trashed our £150 a-night-room inside Manchester most exclusive 5 star. Much to the annoyance of the other hotel residents, and staff, we then proceeded to run up and down the hallways singing and dancing whilst wearing bed sheets, before blagging our way onto the guest-list of a party one of the band was DJ-ing at on Deansgate. Surprisingly hangover free and reeking of alcohol and sweat, the next morning we left our room still in last night’s booze stained clothes to discover The Saturdays in the lobby & a hoard of paparazzi outside the front door! Obviously made out I was there biggest fan ever, got a tad excited, told them I’m going to every date on their tour & had some pictures with them.

A few days later a group of us then headed up to Doncaster to see my teens out in true style by watching the band that single handedly brought us together all those years ago. The band obviously being McFly, again. After spending the majority of my teenage life travelling the country with this group I’ve friends I’ve made thanks to the passion we all share for this band, this was the FIRST TIME in that entire duration I was trusted to arrange accommodation for everybody and book the hotels. And it’s safe to say I fucked it up. This become immediately apparent the second we told our taxi driver where to take us & his face grimaced in disgust. He told us how the hotel is predominantly used by prostitutes, how the area is a drug dealing “hot spot” and HOW THE ONLY TOILET IS COMMUNAL AND TO BE SHARED BETWEEN ALL THE GUESTS!! Now absolutely petrified we stormed into the lobby and screamed “ARE WE GOING TO GET RAPED HERE?”. The receptionists quick witted reply of “only if you want to” sealed with a cheecky wink really did then set the tone for this entire establishment. To try and numb the reality of this holiday-from-hell worthy shit hole we were stuck in, we got some serious drinking on and me and Katherine decided a fun game would be taking our tops of and flashing at people driving past. Arguably people enjoyed Katherine’s chest more than mine, but we soon remembered where we were and quickly covered up before we caught aids from the furniture or something. As the window was the most entertaining thing in the hotel room, the 10 of us then squashed up against it and sang a selection of McFly songs to some fans out in the car park who had flown over from Norway for the show. Not entirely sure how they perceived our impromptu performance as their English wasn’t the best, their awkward giggles and bemused expressions simply encouraged us to do an encore! Something they spent the duration of recording which will presumably become a YouTube smash any time now.

After taking the party down to the car park due to a ridiculous number of noise complaints, we all started feeling slightly at home and I thought poking my head through peoples windows on the ground floor asking if they were also here for McFly and if they’d like to join us would be fun. Surprisingly not everybody appreciated the friendly greeting; especially not the girl getting changed in 106. Apologies once again 106, I can assure you I am not a pervert. As we continued getting drunk Cassi discovered a great new way to drink wine whilst adding a little flavour … by pouring it into an empty pack of crisp and drinking it from that. Remember you heard it here first guys. However the fun soon turned to disaster as I accidentally walked into a pipe and my face begin bleeding. The receptionist was unsurprisingly less than helpful as I shouted “I’M GONNA SUE YOU AND YOUR SHIT HOTEL ..DO YOU HAVE A PLASTER FIRST THO?” and after a quick clean up we headed up to the race course for the gig.

To say we stood out would be a slight under exaggeration. As we were a little early the races were still on and the place was absolutely crawling with middle aged snobs wearing wedding hats & unflattering dresses. Urinating in the bushes outside with the girls because the toilet queue was to long didn’t particularly help us fit in any better, but we didn’t mind. McFly soon came on and after getting kicked out the VIP box we tried to watch from, the show was amazing! Afterwards we of course wanted to meet them and snook backstage and pounced on Dougie as he walked from the stage door to the dressing room. He wished me a happy birthday. I smiled. And we then got removed from the backstage area for “causing harassment” or something like that and went for drinks in the town centre. Exhaustion from the all day drinking session soon started to set in and we headed back to our lovely little hotel and started running up and down the hallways in our underwear knocking on peoples doors and throwing things around. Probably best to leave town when we did in all honesty, as Cassi thought it would be hilarious to shout “I’M A RIOTER PC PLOD” at police men and then run into a bakery shouting “I’M GONNA LOOT YA”. Essentially it was hilarious, but our sense of humour doesn’t always translate over too well and this topic of conversation is still a little touchy….

ps: corries coming on in a minute so cba proof reading, sorry for shit spelling.

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London food-fights to Manchester hotel parties

Considering I tell myself on a regular basis that I’ve grown out of this McFly phase I don’t half seem to see them alot. This month essentially should have been renamed to “McMarch” for me as pretty much 99% of my social life has revolved around this band these past 31 days. It all started with an um, lovely day trip to Bolton to see them after finding out they were doing some charity concert for someone dying or some shit like that, and as predicted, Bolton is a shit hole. Not long after that I headed to London for the weekend to catch up with some of the friends I met through McFly many years back. The weekend was awesome, and to sum it up; we got embarrassingly drunk at the All Time Low show at Brixton Academy and then trashed their after-party with an impromptu food fight! The party was at a super cool bowling alley nightclub, and as you can imagine, alcohol and bowling don’t exactly combine very well and resulted in Amy forgetting to let go of the ball and throwing herself down the lane whilst Alex from All Time Low looked on in sheer embarrassment.

After heading back up North and spending the next few days recovering, the weekend soon came around and I had tickets to see McFly at the arena. And after spending the day stalking the band around the city a few of us decided to meet in Holly and Sophie’s hotel before the show for a couple of drinks; a few of us soon turned into a lot of us and a few drinks soon turned into a lot of drinks and before long the room was trashed and we were all wasted and on route to the arena. Obviously with us being all kinds of drunk we ignored the fact we had the worst seats in the entire venue, disregarded all the rules of the Arena and snuck onto the front row when the lights went down …and much to our surprise managed to stay there for the entire show without getting kicked out! Not content with being front row and mere inches away from the band I decided I still wanted to go one better and stood on the seat I’d just high-jacked and started dancing. And for around 5 seconds I was having the time of my life, until the bitch sat behind pushed me and I fell off right in front of McFly and an arena full of 10 thousand people!! The production of the show itself was bloody outstanding and once it finished we of course snuck into their hotel where the after party was, blagged some free drinks and met them again!!

Sadly I couldn’t go to any more dates of the tour as they clashed with other shit I had to do but oh it didn’t stop there! With my friend Beth (the girl who single handedly created my McFly obsession back in High School) being up from London we decided to meet in town and catch up. The catching up however lasted around 3 minutes as I got a tip-off McFly were at a local radio station and we suddenly got our stalk on and met them once again as they left!! Now if that wasn’t random enough, as we strolled back into town who do we see walking towards the shops? McFly!! Now I know I’d literally just met them, and I’ve met them a billion times before that, but it’s always been outside a hotel, venue, tour bus..etc never this coincidental! Not knowing what to do with ourselves, we obviously followed them at a distance for a while before pouncing on Tom in the food section of Selfridges. We happily chatted away for a while with him before leaving him to carry on shopping. Presuming they were now staying over in the City whilst they completed the rest of their Northern tour dates we decided to leave them be …and go back the next day and meet them again before we headed to the Taylor Swift show …and then the same the following day as I had a dentist appointment in town and my dentist is just walking distance from the hotel…..

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