Blood splashing, wedding crashing & penis flashing
You know when you meet a famous person/band you love and you’re so happy and excited that you mumble your words or drop the thing you’re getting signed or something like that? Then you walk away like “OH MY GOD THAT WAS EMBARRASSING” and cringe at yourself? Well try accidentally bleeding on them!!!!!!! However, before I get to that highly exciting tale; my month started how every month should, with a JONAS BROTHERS day! And by should, I clearly mean shouldn’t. Yes for one day only I decided to remind myself why I used to love them so much, get drunk, and spend the day following Joe around the city! And one hangover and one unfortunate paparazzi shot next to him doing it’s rounds on the internet later, the day was a success.
Now for the blood stuff…. I decided to head south to Leicester to catch up with some friends and head to “The Midnight Beast” show right. After meeting up we soon headed to our hotel and had some drinks; And like most of my stories, some drinks soon became a lot of drinks, and our pretty little hotel room now looked like the aftermath of the Japanese Tsunami. Particularly after I got so excited jumping on the bed singing that I accidentally threw my drink all over Jess. Apologies once again Jess. The Midnight Beast, were on top form as usual, and even after suffering the embarrassment of getting kicked out of VIP for standing on the chairs and taking our clothes of we were still in high spirits. As blurry as things after this become I distinctly remember 3 things occurring: 1, drinking cocktails out a coconut, 2, cassi falling over, and 3, not noticing the heavy blood flow seeping from my hand after being stood on whilst passed out on the pavement, and then accidentally dripping it all over The Midnight Beast as I said hey afterwards!!!! Thankfully they genuinely seemed more concerned about my well-being than the fact I’d just took my period on them; and as promised, I will keep all bodily fluids to myself next time chaps. Jokes aside though, I seriously must be the ONLY person that could accidentally and unknowingly bleed all over their favourite band!!!!! Thank god it wasn’t McFly lolololol imagine Toms face…
By the time I’d gotten back to Manchester and fully recovered it was MOOOOOOOOOVING DAY for me and the two friends I tolerate live with. And excluding the accidental fire me and my duvet started in the laundrette, the moving aspect was surprisingly stress free and the new house is awesome! The next morning I had two options to choose from; unpack shit and make this house a home, OR get drunk with Cassi at the airport and meet Jedward as they land. The airport clearly won and before it had even hit midday we were doing sambucca shots at Terminal 2! After the airport I fully intended on coming home and unpacking but as the alcohol kept flowing I soon found myself sneaking into a Peter Andre show the twins were playing just outside of Wigan. Clearly trying to prolong the unpacking the best I could now, I decided getting into a car with a women I’d only known for a couple of hours and driving to John and Edwards isolated hotel in the middle of the countryside would be the best possible way to do this. Sadly we’d missed them arriving back and security were being strict on the door …so we snook around the back, spotted a side door open where a wedding reception was being held and asked the bridesmaid to sneak us in…. the plan was going great until the bride decided to stop everything and shout across the party to her friend “WHO ARE THEY JULIE? GET EM OUT” to which she replied “I’M SNEAKING THEM TO JEDWARDS HOTEL ROOM”. Embarrassing. Especially when security then escorted us out before we even made it to the twins. Still not wanting to go home we got chatting with some other like-minded fans who kindly offered to let us stay in their fancy 5 star hotel suite at another hotel down the road. Instant yes. The rest of the night was then spent in their Jacuzzi until leaving at 4am for an impromptu road trip back to Manchester Airport.
Still trying to escape the unpacking a few of us then headed up to Scotland for T IN THE PARK festival, and to briefly sum the week up; made friends, got drunk, slept in a field, went to a rave and watched Arctic Monkeys, Plan B, The View, Parade, Coldplay, Beyonce, The Script, Ke$ha, N-Dubz, The Saturdays, My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, You Me At Six, Pulp, Foo Fighters, Bruno Mars, Tinnie Tempha, The Pretty Reckless, Kids In Glass Houses andddddd last but not at all least, MR TOM FUCKING JONES!
Absolutely exhausted now after a week camping we departed the camp site at 6am and embarked upon what ended up a 10 hour journey back to Manchester!!! Travelling bores me at the best of times, especially when sleep deprived, unwashed and annihilated with mud, so the duration of this time was spent drinking leftover festival beer. Excessive drinking obviously means frequent toilet breaks, and when on a train this is easier said than done. Particularly after my first attempt when the lock didn’t catch, the train turned a corner, the door flung open and I accidentally flashed my penis to a high percentage of Coach B. Rather than going straight to bed when back home, Charlotte and Will came round with a bottle of Jack to brush our teeth with and we headed straight out to the KE$HA show at the Apollo. Can’t say I remember much of this evening, except rolling on some grass afterwards, pressing my nipples against her tour bus window, telling her mum she can’t sing very well live and screaming very loud at Will in the car as we followed her bus down the motorway.
