FINALLY FAMOUS (in the Vancouver area)

The one thing I love about the media in this day and age is how in your face it is. You can’t even nip to the shops without having some form of advertisement or pointless information forced upon you. Billboards on the side of roads, posters plastered across phone boxes, full page ads in your morning newspaper….etc etc etc. There is literally no escape. It’s only right celebrities are getting in on this; they get their faces in the papers, unlimited exposure, and a big bag of cash; and of course the business there advertising get extra press and interest. Maybe this is where I’ve been going wrong all this time with my quest to Mileys heart. Yes, lying in front of her car, stripping at her concerts and sneaking into her hotels will obviously get me noticed, but for what? All of 5 seconds until her security pounce on me and kick me out faster than I can scream “I WANT TO HAVE CONSENSUAL INTERCOURSE WITH YOU MILEY!” I needed to think bigger, take my quest further. Beckham has Armani, Cheryl Cole has  L’Oreal, even Jedward have Travel Super Market!! And now ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pride to announce that I am the face of…… an advertisement campaign for a central heating company based in Canada urging people to prepare their furnaces for winter! Yeah! Let’s see Miley avoid me now I’m splashed all over newspapers and posters in the Vancouver area! As you can tell, this is a highly exciting time in my life. I now feel I have finally achieved the celebrity status I’ve always deemed myself worthy of.  And you know, it’s only a matter of time before I have Miley in my loving arms, the press reporting my every move and hoards of fans knocking at my door asking me to sign their furnaces! …or radiators/boilers/pipes/whatever the fuck the English equivalent to a “furnace” is.

(click through to check out more of the ad campaign)